The most perfect world—the most liberal world—would have no gay people. Let me describe that world for you.
Bob, your next door neighbor, prefers brunettes. It’s not like he’s never been attracted to a blond, it just doesn’t happen that much. This doesn’t make him a different type of person than people who are attracted to blondes. It’s just what he happens to be into.
Kelly, who lives across the street, is drawn mostly to artistic, intellectual types. Kelly will date men and women, but if you don’t have a strong opinion about Foucault and a favorite opera, then Kelly just isn’t going to be into you. This doesn’t define who Kelly is. There is no “category” that this puts Kelly in. It’s just a part of what Kelly likes.
Bill, the guy you know at work, has been married for 40 years to a wonderful, beautiful woman. Sometimes, he fantasizes about sex with guys. But that doesn’t mean he’s secretly not attracted to his wife, and it doesn’t mean he’s lying about anything. In fact, his situation is very similar to Jack, who is married to a drop-dead gorgeous slender dark-haired female model, but sometimes fantasizes about having sex with short blond girls with giant breasts. It has nothing to do with “identity”, it’s just that sometimes people fantasize about new things. It doesn’t change “who they are” as human beings.
In this world, there are people who are exclusively attracted to members of the same sex just like there are people who are exclusively attracted to people who have long, luxurious hair. There are also people who are exclusively attracted to people who have black hair and blue eyes. It’s just a taste. It’s not a “type of human being.”
In this world, nobody is gay. Nobody is straight. People all have their own “type”, but having a “type” doesn’t make them a “type” of human being.
It’s all well and good to demand that “people who are gay” have equal rights. But let’s not pretend that it’s the only way to look at the world. In the end, it’s not even the most open-minded way to look at the world.