Princess Fluffikins

Princess Fluffikins

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Princess Fluffikins began her life your typical pampered, spoiled long-haired white Persian house cat. She purred and chased butterflies, and children put ribbons in her hair.

Until The Bird arrived. It began one spring, at 4:49 am every morning, the bird would chirp:

Tooooooot, tooooot! Tip tip tip tip tip!
Tooooooot, tooooot! Tip tip tip tip tip!

At first Princess Fluffikins was merely irritated, being woken up each morning so early. She would climb onto the windowsill and look angrily at the bird perched outside, and put a paw on the window.

But then, The Bird changed its song.

One morning, it would say,

Tooooooot, tooooot! Tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip!

Another, it would say,

Tooooooot, tooooot! Tip tip!

And Princess Fluffikins thought, “What is it trying to say? What is the pattern? Is it a code of some sort?”

So Princess Fluffikins became obsessed. She lost sleep, became irritable and angry all the time. She began to hiss at the butterflies. She would scratch the number sequences into fabric of the sofa, like a prisoner counting days with scratches on the stone wall, trying to discern what the pattern was.

“Why do you torment me with your meaningless numbers?” she would howl at the bird.

She began to become unable to function day to day, spinning into a deep, dark pit of madness. She would claw aimlessly at carpet fuzz, and spend hours trying to lick the back of her own head.

Eventually, Princess Fluffikins became so filled with pain and hatred for The Bird that….


Now, she spends her days, lurking through the tall grass, feeding on the souls of small rodents who have lost their faith in Gaia, and seeking eternally, of course, to hunt and slay The Bird.

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